Hello my darling, how is this election season treating you? I hope you aren’t using up all your energy on arguments and counter arguments abut our disloyal politicians. Save some of that passion for yourself and let’s talk about today’s burning issue.
WHERE IS YOUR TABLE?
Sometime in 2018 a story was trending in the Nigerian social media space. It was about a young lady who had the privilege of sitting at the table with her father and his friends. They had just lost one of them and they used the time to reminisce about him, but also interestingly, to help put their late friend’s affairs in order.
It turns out that these friends at this table could trace a large portion of their individual success to the relationships they had built over time with each other. They had shared opportunities, worked through their failures, fought through the hard times, all at that metaphorical table.
That story got me thinking about networks and what they mean to us. Too often we think that we should be looking for mentors who are already wildly successful, and this is not a bad aspiration. Mentors are very important. But what about your table?
Do you even have a table? When you look at the people you spend your time with, can you see yourselves gathered together at some distant point in the future looking back at how you helped each other grow?
Now please note that I am not telling you to throw all your friends away! But if majority of your relationships are not currently geared towards helping you reach your dreams then you need to rethink your personal networks. You should have friends with whom you are competing against life, not the kind who are in competition with you. Friends whose approach to life challenges you to do better.
I personally have friends who are ‘on my case” figuratively. Friends who share opportunities with me as soon as they see them. Friends who bully me into sending applications. Friends who make a conscious effort to help me build my career. That’s my table! They don’t all sit at the same place, they don’t all know eachother, I’m not even particularly close to them all, but when the story of my success is told, it would be told by these guys.
So think about it, have you started building your table?
Please note that a table is not just about you. You wont last very long sitting on one if you aren’t also contributing to the growth of the others. If you hoard opportunities, show no intent to help others up life’s ladder or squander the chances that are given to you, you’ll eventually lose these priceless relationships.
In all dear friend, peer pressure is not always bad. As long as you know to seek out the kind of pressure that makes you grow. If you are lucky and you can have these people together in one space, lucky you. But if you don’t, never fear, grow your table wherever you can.
Think about it, tag your current table members here and let me know hat your journey has been like.
Lots of love,
Fellow Nigerian millennial.